How Bleed 360 Really Works

A Non-Technical Guide to Conning with Confidence

Bleed 360:
Jazz Hands. Zero Foundation. 100% Billable.

1. The Pitch: "We Do AI/DS/DE/Cloud (or whatever’s trending this week). Trust Us! We Read the Buzzwords First."

Reality: We don’t do AI. We sell the idea of AI using:

"Strategic frameworks" (e.g., "The Critical Steps to Digital Nirvana"—spoiler: Step 7 is "Bill for Steps 1-6 Again").
Jargon salads ("blockchain-adjacent cognitive synergy" = "we Googled this yesterday").
Slide decks with stock photos of "innovation" (whiteboards, lightbulbs, diverse hands touching).
Goal: Make the client feel smart for "investing in the future" while we charge for the present.

2. The Delivery: Smoke, Mirrors, and Spreadsh*ts

Tactics:

Overpromise, then "pivot." Start with "transformative AI" and deliver a glorified Excel macro (or mostly updated copy of a PowerPoint deck we tried pitching with someone else). If you look close enough, you will spot how many times we've forgotten to remove other clients' names from our slide decks. Embarrassing? We don't trouble ourselves with such complicated words.

Blame the data. "Your systems aren’t ready" (translation: we didn’t plan).

Upsell the fix. "For just 2x the budget, we’ll ‘align’ your data" (we’ll rename your columns).

Outcome: The client pays for our learning curve, not results.

3. The Retention: Fear, Obligation, and Guilt

"You’re not really using our full potential!" (We’ll audit the mess we made—for a fee.)

"The market’s moving fast!" (We need another contract to "keep up.")

"Your team lacks vision." (They asked questions. Dangerous.)

Result: They’re too embarrassed to admit they were duped, so they renew the contract.

4. The Exit: NDAs and Gaslighting

When it all collapses:

NDAs silence the team.

"Lessons learned" reports (blaming the client).

A new rebrand (same grift, shinier logo).

Why This Works

Non-technical decision-makers don’t want rigor. They want plausible deniability and a PowerPoint to show their boss. Bleed 360 gives them!

Clients: The Long Con

We don’t just take your money—we take your trust, your time, and your dignity, then package it all back to you as "value-added services." First, we sell you a vision so vague it could mean anything. Then, we drown you in jargon until you’re too confused to ask questions. By the time you realize we’ve delivered nothing but PowerPoint and invoices, you’re already locked into another "strategic phase." It’s not a mistake—it’s our business model. And since it worked last time, we’re doing it again. Proudly.

You won’t even notice until the contract auto-renews and your budget is gone.

Stories (coming up) 
Staff: The Grind Machine

We hire the brightest, work them to the bone, and replace them before they realize they’ve been used. Our "All-Star Program" isn’t about growth—it’s about extraction. We call it "high-performance culture," but let’s be honest: it’s a meat grinder. You’ll get a fancy title, a mentor who’s too busy to mentor, and a project designed to fail—so we can blame you when it does. Burnout isn’t a bug; it’s how we keep the machine running. And we’re not sorry. We’re just reloading for the next batch.

You won’t even notice until your health insurance lapses and your résumé is full of half-finished projects.

Stories (coming up) 
The Cycle: Rinse, Repeat, Profit

Clients leave broke. Staff leave broken. We leave richer. That’s not an accident—it’s the plan. We’ve perfected the art of turning hope into invoices, and we’re not about to stop now. Every "lesson learned" is just a setup for the next upsell. Every "cultural reset" is a way to squeeze more out of the people who haven’t quit yet. And every time someone catches on, we rebrand and do it all over again. It’s not just what we do—it’s who we are. And we’re damn good at it.

You won’t even notice until you’re three contracts deep and your original problem is now a "legacy issue" we’ll charge extra to fix.

Stories (coming up)